Bookworm journal...

Hehehe feeling like reading but dont know where to start?
Well Ken Follet's "Pillars of The Earth" & "World Without End" is a nice place to start... :) but beware that these 2 super thick books are a loooong journey so its best you have some spare time to along as you will be reluctant to put the book down.
Both books are related as it takes you to a journey of diff individuals luving in 12th century during the building of a cathedral and the 14th century during the hit of the black plague. The scene takes us to old England and was able to depict numerous historical events that took place during that time...
The writing so wonderful and detailed that you cant help but be transported in time. I would definitely called it a satisfying and epic journey as their tears become your own.. And their triumph and happiness your passion.
Looking forward to another Ken Follet novel..I hope that its just as wonderful... And hopefully i can get hands on the tv series of both books soon.. :)
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Current read...

Have you seen the series? I watched both seasons in a matter of a few days.. Loved it! :)
So here goes... Let the battle begin!

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Uber cute right? :)

My sweet muffin apple boom boom... Ahhh... Miss miss!

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Better in time...?

You'll find that I bleed just as any human would.. In fact I am probably weak since even the slightest challenge can seem so impossible to me...

But again and again I have been betrayed and in so many ways... No need to divulge in details as they are too personal. But I feel a need to somehow write out just to ease this sense of loss that I feel... To make sense to a world that no longer matter to me.

How does one recover from one blow to another... How do i ignore the feelings so deep.. ?

God has been kind.. I am able to retreat into my own world and ignore all these negative vibes that in another time would have killed me.. But until when? I dont know...

It brings into question on my own heart and sincerity... And of course the depth of my love... And when things have lain hidden all these while you realise there is a chance that you've lost it completely...

If only it was as simple as a forgotten...but its more than that...

I could cry a million tears... Scream and go mad with rage... I could ask a million and one question... Why dont I? Because none would make it better... None could be accepted... None...

So here I sit.. Just thinking... Not feeling...just thinking... Because that is all i can afford to do...

Breathe in...breathe out..  for better or worse.. Till death do us part... Well it's worse.. And part of me has died anyway.

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Shiya..

She's growing faster and faster in my eyes... Yesterday where some of her clothes hangs baggy-ly..now it fits her nicely at the bottom.. A clear sign that she's getting taller, despite me seeing her as a lil chikonet... :) and her vocabs increasing too.. She knows what a flower is..pokok..kipas..towel...fries...yes...fries..tsk tsk.. She even knows some of the alphabets! Hehehe...

I've started buying more n more books in the hopes that she will embrace reading as i have..heheh though i am still struggling to find the time and energy to just sit down and read to her at a proper time.. We should make it a routine...

Cant believe she'll be 2 in 4 months!! It doesnt feel like 2 years..and in my eyes she is still a lil baby... I guess i'll always feel like that :)

Am still thinking whether i should have a party for her 2nd bday... It would be nice and fun..but at the same time.. I feel like just having an awesome celebration with just the 3 of us...hehehe... Well i have a few months still to mull over it...  ;)

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My lil athlete!

Our children will always be better than us...as one can only hope...hehehe...

From birth till 19m...she has always been active and energetic... :)

(excuse the tears...hehe..ade baby boy tegur n she cried...hehehe...)

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a thought...

I have always wanted to be a housewife...in fact i have always thought to be a stay at home mum... Why is this so, you might ask... Well.. I dont have the words on how to describe it for all others...even to myself... Suffice to say that that is who I am and that os a part of me that I know very well...

I'm writting this because the feeling is getting stronger and stronger until some days that is all I think about.. It's especially even clearer to me when I am in one of those black moods after a disagreement with anyone who (in my mind) mistreats my jellybean... I could it so much better kinda feeling...

But then....

I take her out...n we splurge... How lucky am I? Lucky to be able to just walk in into Mothercare or Toys r us with an armload of clothes...gifts...toys... Buy fruits that costs RM20 for a small (omg its like silly small) just because she likes it... N to be able to buy a pororo soft toy for RM60 and x think twice... The smile on her face everynight as she hugs it is enough...

How many souls are just lucky to be able to do that...

I am mature enough to realise that it's because I am where I am today... But i wonder can I not be what I want to be..and still be able to be me...? Where is the ending and when is the beginning?

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