Connection with my Toddler

Weekends really fly past us... I mean you wait all for 5 days to get there.. and the next thing you know... it's Monday and the weekend is over... tskkkk

Last weekend we had a busy schedule... we went to Jakel for my clothing project and there, my sweetie pie Shiya had one of her meltdowns... I guess the heat... no attention from me and just the huge crowd (sale, what else)...was just too much for her to handle...

I must say I had to bodily carry her to the car... wriggling and screaming... and proceeded to watch her crying and throwing a fit all of near 20 mins... I actually lost my temper and it took quite an effort to reign it all in...

But along the craziness... I remember what Dr. Markham commented in her book "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids"... how she was just too overwhelmed and her shrieks are actually a way of her reaching out for comfort or help.... so I tried my best to control my feelings and used a calmer and soothing voice... I didn't ask her to stop crying... but instead assured her I understand... and kissed her... the tears tapered out... and she looked at me with a cute pout and kept calling out to me in her manja voice... heheheh it sorta worked I guess... because from there we connected in a way... I knew that she wanted my reassurance that everything is ok... and she wanted me to make whatever that was bothering her go away.. namely her shoe that was missing the cat thingy... chewed gum just to stick it back on... gave her some ribena goodness... and turned on her ipad to show her favourite pororo...

I read a little today on how when you encounter a defiant nature in your child that it is a mark of a relationship problem.... and yes, I have that problem since she turned 2... I can see it in her stance and her eyes whenever we would come to a stand still .. or a battle of wills from lack of better words to appropriately surmise the situation...

It's a shocker of how accurate the book seems to get it... and how off mark I was in regards on how to handle my toddler... punishment is not the way... gentle understanding is supposedly the best remedy... ahhh... some parts of me are so confused really... but I did note on her disconnection with me whenever I would get mad at some situations... I think it's all about balance... and compromise... and like the book said.... connection...

One interesting part is it asks us ... how many times did we connect in the past 2 days... I would say a few times... though not nearly enough...

Another is... name 2 things to connect that we can do today...

And lastly... to look back on the few times that we were distracted and how to improve on that so that we could connect better....

Well who said we needed to stop learning when we are older... there's always something new to learn...

Will try the few things that the book suggests and try to deepen my connection with my Jellybean... Can't wait for 11th May... Did I mention before? That's when my unpaid leave starts... and my loooong overdue 'summer' with my sweetheart...

;)

Parenting Skills 101

I am currently reading a great parenting book... the title really caught my attention.. "Peaceful Parent, HAPPY KIDS" by Dr Laura Markham.

Well I haven't finished reading it yet, but the first part was great... it's on regulating ourselves as parents...Just to share a note on her 10 rules to raise terrific kids...
1. the most important parenting skills
  - to take care of ourselves so that we don't vent on our kids
     (am guilty of this sometimes... especially when I am in one of my not so good moods or is a little irritated
      with situations that isn't even related to Shiya... I find that my tempee gets the best of me...  :(  )

2. the most important parenting commitment: to always be there for your child/ren
   - it's important to let them know that you will always, always have their back no matter what
   - to respond to what she needs and not you think she needs [this is so true]

3. the most important parenting secret: discipline doesn't work
   - instead of punishment, set and guide limits on behaviour
     (I usually impose timeouts... and it works... but now I am just wondering if I'm teaching her control or
     inhibiting her natural responses to trauma/anger/upset   :(    )

4. what kids need that no one tells you: a safe place to express feelings while you 'listen'

5. what your child wishes you understood: she's just a kid trying as hard as she can

6. The most useful mantra: don't take it personally
     - no one wins a power struggle and not to insist on being right

7. what to remember when the time gets hard: all misbehavior comes from basic needs that are not met

8. the best parenting expert - you child

9. the constant: change

10. what matters most: stay connected and never withdraw your love even for a moment

haaa... I had actually written a longer version.. but lost in the publish and save process *sigh*

Anyhow the pointers a good to remember... especially when the book talks about how our anger sometimes stems from our deep set fear in ourselves... in other words... our childhood that shaped us... so we can react in 2 manner... towards fear (anger & punishment)... or towards love (empathy & guidance).... always, always choose love....

The Sleepy Me...

Anyhow... been off coffee for the past... what... 2 days now... and I know it sounds over dramatic but OMG... I am so sleepy! Nah... sleepy is not the right word to describe how I feel... it's lethargic... and slow... as though  I need to drag myself out of water... and in the morning in the car I am definitely snoozing away in the traffic and the effort it takes just to open my eyes... yes that itself is an award winning moment I think... tsk tsk

So much hubbubb over coffee... :P

But I do feel so 'layu'... a word that best describe me right now...This could be due to caffeine withdrawal... (really?? hmm...) or maybe it's just me being sluggish due to the lack of proper exercise to pump me up. Maybe the morning coffee has been giving me help by 'boosting' me up... sigh... gotta hit the gym or at least do some much needed cardio... *sigh*

Anyhow... if I didn't know better I would think I am pregnant.... the feeling is very much like when I was carrying shiya...hahaha except that time I was like 6 months pregnant?  :P Oh the horror of being over weight... tsk tsk...

But this reminds me of what hubby was saying yesterday... while I was going on and on and on about number 2... well more like the disappointment of getting a good rating on a particularly bad year for bonus... something like that... then he said... "well maybe the 2 means something... you know... shiya turning 2 this year... and well... getting our number 2?"

Hahahaha.... what he said was so random... *grinning silly* it's almost like something I would have said... so unlike him... and yet... that's what makes hubby and me... us... I would definitely say... we had a moment yesterday... :) *still grinning* It's wonderful to share that kind of connection with someone... Alhamdulillah...

As to my sleepy self... no coffee for me still... (though I cheated and drank 2 cups of tea yesterday)... and hopefully with some much needed activities planned during the weekend, I would feel a little energised next week... :)

All you gotta say is just Toodles!  :P
(Yes am feeling chirpy.. cos though it's Thurs... it's Fri for me!)

Health.. Insurance & Medical Benefits...

Yea... the future is an obscure reality.. we don't often see how we might fare and sometimes we choose not to see it for reasons entirely our own... but one thing that my mum has always impressed on me was the importance of a good medical plan. Being fresh grad at 23 yo I didn't see this as a priority but as a burden.. afterall.. that RM200 that goes out of my pocket every month could be new shoes... new books... yummy dinners at chillie or tucked away safe (is it ever really safe?  :P  ) in my savings account...

But being one who is reluctant to disobey my parents, I took a life insurance plan recommended and has kept at it till now... Since then, I have moved jobs and is able to receive a much better medical plan from my employer.. and this I thank everyday and every night... there has been 3 major incidents in my life to date that I can breathe a huge sigh of relief that insurance and medical plans exists...

Briefly...

Before we got married, hubby fell sick... and I mean really sick... he couldn't function properly due to severe headache and high fever... after insisting he get proper help, he finally listened and checked into SDMC ER... there he was checked by the attending doctor and he told us that hubby had appendicitis and had to go into surgery... imagine my worry when even after surgery he was still having aches all over... severe headache and yes... high fever... added on now is the tummy wound from the surgery...

The doctor and nurses assures us that this is normal after surgery and it'll go away once he had proper care and enough liquid... it didn't... a few days after discharge red dots started to appear on hubby's arms and legs... and he still had a mild fever going on... again... we went to the ER to check... and this time he was diagnosed properly with dengue fever and admitted for a second time.. Alhamdulillah he got well quickly since all he needed was ample bed rest and lots of liquid...

This debacle would have actually costs us a bundle... imagine an actual surgery...even if it was the wrong treatment! But hubby was well covered by his insurance... so we only had to pay minimal payments for some of the stuff that was not covered...

Next is my actual pregnancy to my Jellybean and all that goes with it... giving birth... immunisation shots... trips to the doctor... I have my medical benefits to thank... So girls looking for a job.. number one priority should be given to what kind of benefits you can have... I can't imagine what the medical bills and headache I would have if it weren't for my current position right now... It plays a major role indeed...

Lastly, was last week... when Jellybean fell sick...

Love

There are only a few times in your life that you could feel this amazing love in your heart... and I am one of those lucky ones to have been able to know the feeling again and again... My bff once said that I love easily... but once I love that someone... it would take the force of God to wrench that love away from me... and I do agree with this... When I love, I love freely and merrily... and I love forever.. till death do us part...  :)

Ok that sounds scary... but true...  ;)

How about you? What did you feel when you met your perfect someone? Was it a free flowing river of wonder... or perhaps fire works that exploded in your heart? Maybe it was a gentle sweeping breeze that carried you away to a land of wonder... for me? It was like the sun rising to bring light on everything that I once was... and I felt this immense pleasure and happiness that was like a bottle of champagne just waiting to burst... my heart felt as though it was enclosed in a warm hug... toasty... yes, that's what it felt like... toasty feeling... like a warm marshmallow, melting in the heat of a crackling fire.... enveloping me in his warmth...

How about when you first look into your true heart's eyes for the first time...? Loving her... how do you describe holding to life that is greater than your own? The smell of little rainbows and snuggle bunnies... the smiles that is bestowed on you that swells your heart to almost bursting when they turn to you to give you a tight hug? It's indescribable...

Love for your other half... that is great... but love for your child? It is a love for a part of your soul... because they are the very reason that you breathe today...

She is a dream that was only half hoped and wished for with the fullness of my heart... and everytime I look into her eyes, I fall madly in love all over again... yes, there seems to be no ending to my love for her... and I wish could be with her everyday...

Which is probably the reason for this entry on a weekday... at my desk... at work...  :P

Love... How would you describe your love?

2012

How was everyone's new year celebration? Mine was great indeed... got to spend quality time with hubby and my sweet angel... we had ourselves a merry time with hubby's "burger party"...hehehe which involves him over the stove cooking burger ramli for the family. FIL also made his famous kuey teow and I had some yummy iced root beer... ahhh my fav... been missing that lately! :)

We were in bed by 10 pm with Jellybean and settled down to sleep just as the clock struck 12... it was perfection... ;)

2012... may things be as beautiful and more prosperous this year... another baby perhaps? hehehe... insyallah... kalau ada rezeki why not... but 2012 will be mainly focused on getting our house ready as we'll be able to move in soon! Yippee! *jumping with glee*

My Nomadic Life

Being a nomad is no joke... it seems to me we're always on the move. Not only that, being 'free' and 'unattached' makes it impossible to say 'no' when you just don't feel like make the move. At least that was the way before I was gave birth to my princess. Really? No.... situations have not changed since then.

When I say nomadic life, the norm for my little family would be the move from Subang house (my parents) to Kajang house (in-laws) and vice versa. When I got married, I maintained separate things at both houses so that the move can be sudden, at will and not followed by a multitude of baggage. The control of items are easier said than done. After all, isn't crazy to have the same exact everything in both houses?? Hmm.. maybe if i was a billionaire. :P

Then came the mix up with work clothes... the tudungs that I thought was there but actually not... ohhh the list goes on and on... now with a maid and baby... the craziness of moving around gets even worse! People don't always understand the stress that I am under and those who knows my woes (since I tend to nag when I get the opportunity) feels that it's just a matter of prioritising and just well... make do or prepare.....

My question is... how do I do this? It's not just about me and hubby anymore. Our room is no longer our personal space...(maids coming in and out)... Then we also have to deal with our baby's stuff... that's the trickiest part because I can get very stressed out and 'anal' when it comes to Jellybean's toys and clothes... erm, let's just say all her toys need to be accounted for and all her clothes stacked and folded according to usage..daily, fancy..bla bla... but who doesn't do that...? Right? hmmm....

Anyhow, I have been spending a lot of time (when I have it) to organised her stuff as well as hubby's and mine... in both houses... so I have been spending a lot of money on buying storage boxes and Tupperware...yes, I have joined the Lock n Lock band wagon as bought a whole bunch to store my Jellybean's foody and snacks... let's just say I have one for every occasion...to store her vege for her porridge, her fruits, her cereals, her biscuits... and some small ones for her food when we go out... this alone takes a few minitues to get organised on a daily basis! hahaha...

So I am also going through all the clothes I have to sort out those to be stored under 'pregnancy/pantang' storage and those I would just give away...

*sigh*

even writing about it takes a lot of energy  :P 

It's almost new year and I am still organising and 'kemasing'... pening and penat... well... that's one resolution for 2012... to be well organised and neat... hehehe... and all this kemas2 is probably due to the fact that I am sincerely bored with my everyday/work clothes... so I am trying to be a little bit more rajin in getting ready to go out or to work. So I'm going through all my clothes and tudungs to judge their worth per say... hahahaha... I will be turning 29 in less than a month... Don't want to look like I'm 40 when I'm just turning 30! :P  My goodness I'm THAT old huh? hehehe... At heart I feel like I'm still 20.... ye ke? Well a 20 yo who likes to spend time with her baby and hubby at home... and be with close family and friends...  :)

LRT

This past couple of weeks I have been experimenting with new ways to go to work... car pooling with my bff or mum... and using the LRT as a mode of transport from the Kerinchi station to KLCC. So far it has been good and let me tell you.. every time I go buy other modes of transport... I am actually saving like RM17.50 per day! Never realised how much I spend just going to work... This is not even taking into account the cost of petrol... tsk tsk

Anyhow... back to the topic... the few times that I have taken the LRT, it was easy going and though I couldn't sit down... there are plenty of room to breathe.. So no trouble there... but there are times that there is just huge crowd of people bustling in... I guess I am there at the peak time when everyone is just crazy mad to go to work so there I was, stuck in a crushed up trailer (is that what it's called??)

Going with the LRT, you really have to have the 'menyelit' skills... hehehe... if you don't... you'll never get to work...:P   cos sometimes the trains are just so full that you have to slide through and hold on for dear life until you get to your destination. This will of course mean that you have to have minimal baggage and proper shoes that are comfy enough to get you through the ride. :) hehehe, just yesterday I had to go through 3 doors just to get enough space for me to get in... for some reason the train was packed... even at 5.35pm... a tip... never try to get onto an LRT at KL Sentral/Masjid Jamek.... it's packed and full... can't say KLCC since that's my destination everyday (but yes, this is super full too... duh, it's like the centre for everyone, tourists and locals)  :P

Though maybe I am still new at this, I find that enjoy the experience... even if I was stuck in a meshed up trains a few times already... I get to work on a scheduled time... not depending on the condition of traffic... basically I am there in 20 mins from the station... and best of all is that I get to skip the KL traffic when I go back from work... out of KL in 20 mins... ahh... bliss... :P

oh well.. that's my take on my LRT rides...

Hmm?

Have you ever just wondered about happened to old you? Suddenly you start to remember how you were back then... Way when you were more... Well, what seemed to be you... And now... When you're a different you...

So who are you actually... The former crazy, silly you... Or now... The more lazy and down to earth you? It's confusing at times...

But life is all about changing I guess... and what else is life about if not to change for the better yea? So maybe a little crazy and silly should e in order... With a dash of lazy and down to earth, if only to keep you grounded... Hehehehe... Food for though before I sleep... Nitez!

Btw, my baby just turned 8 months 2 days ago! :D



My baby and me... lazying on a Mon afternoon...pure love


Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

Ruined Empire



 

What used to be the Loaf and Coffe Bean



Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

Empire no more??

Subang is slowly becoming one of those places that you love and hate at the same time. You hate the bustling nature of the traffic and people... everywhere you go at all times of the day you're sure to get stuck in traffic... but... you absolutely love it.

Why?

Because of the convenience of having everything and I mean EVERYTHING at your fingertips... name it... food, entertainment, shops, schools, mosque, car services, spa treatment... and the latest... movie theatre... everything is there and within distance. For someone who lives half the month in Subang and half the month in Kajang area, believe me... you'll feel the difference when you have to travel way out of your way to find a good grocery shop just to make chicken porridge for your baby!  :P

Anyhow, one major nice contributor to the rising sun and shine of Subang is Empire Mall. The first time it opened, I had my doubts... but the more you go there, the more you start to appreciate the fact that it's there... Jaya Grocer offers some nice choice of grocery list item selection such as for baby food and baby formula... and the price is quite cheap if you compare to the likes of Cold Storage or Carrefour. Then there is the many and many selection of restaurants from fancy to all time fav coffee bean... Last but certainly not least... there is Kizsports...

Shiya sweetie pie has only been there 3 times and already she loves to play the slide and the balls at the big ball pool... In fact we were supposed to go there last weekend but due to some timing error we didn't actually made it there.

There was some shocking news yesterday morning. Apparently due to gas leakage (so they say), there was a major explosion at Empire Mall! From the pictures it looks very bad and basically everything is ruined. Needless to say that it's closed until further notice. I know a lot of people that I love/care about/know goes there in an almost daily basis... thank goodness that it happened at 3.45am where there are minimal people around. Even then there were still 4 people who were injured.

As my sis was saying, now that there is an explosion, the place is dangerous to go to... you never know if the structure is still sound and strong. For all we know, time is all it needs to totally collapsed! Such a scary thought! Oh well... I will miss empire... many nice memories there...

Little Clingy... me

Throughout the journey of parenthood... there will be a lot of frustration... you'll find that sometimes the sparks that will fly between you and your spouse and it's inevitable as the work schedules come in between your time... stress of sleepless nights and financial burden stretch tight pile on both your shoulders... it's inevitable and it's how you come out of that fix that bonds you even stronger... isn't it true though that stress that test your patience and perseverance will unite your love even stronger than before... we can do it... as long as we have each other...

What others never talk about to parents-to-be is the other side to having children... the behind scene, that goes beyond the dirty diaper or spit ups and the googly and gummy smiles... it is the subtle kind of stress one feels when faced with separation anxiety... let me make myself clearer... anxiety that you.. as a parent feel...

Our kids will grow up, to wonderful and well balanced adults and eventually find their own foot paths in this life... regardless of whether you are ready to let go or not... it's what I guess they call the circle of life. I can't even imagine what I will do then... but I still have a good 18 years, God willing, to face that ultimate time when letting go is so important... how about now? What anxiety do I feel?

Well, it's the anxiety I get when I am separated from my baby... already I feel that she's growing up so fast without me. Everyday I go to work, I look forward to the time that I can step into the house and have her in my arms... to coddle and kiss her yummy cheeks... but lately, this past week I have been having problem with her need to be with her nanny. I know that it's inevitable for her to feel close to her nanny, as she goes in day in and day out with her. Often sleeping close and always being cuddled by her nanny... She sees her most of her waking time during the weekdays... and her bedtime is as early as 8 sometimes... So that roughly leaves me with 1 hour of wake time to be with Jellybean on weekdays. Maybe that is the problem... or maybe it's just a phase...

I certainly don't see other babies or mummies having the same problem... and the others work as well... so the question that I often ask myself now is... what am I doing wrong?

There must be something... I wish I could make it better... because I am inconsolably sad whenever I see her turn away from me... I don't know how to explain it.. and I doubt anyone could understand it.

In this that it proves no matter how much you have to give... no matter how much or what you give... eventually time and the care that you spend is the one that will win out. Unfortunately right now I come out as the losing party... for now.. right this moment... I'm hoping to change that.. I don't know how yet... maybe with more patience... and prayers.... maybe just maybe ... she'll want me more tomorrow...

My baby when she cries.... still yomel!

Smiling eyes... her little one next to mine..  :)

Mummy's little Hijabi!

On love... this Tuesday morning..

Do we make our own fate?

I think there is a fine line between fate, destiny and choices... after all, didn't our choices dictate what our future will be like? Or is it that no matter what path you choose and tumble into... somehow destiny was already pre-chosen and we will be good or bad in accordance to our life's fate?

I was listening to the radio this morning and it was about a girl who was in a dilemma, being in love with someone else's fiance. She didn't know what to do... she was stuck because the guy will not leave her alone. Hmm... is she really all that stuck? Though love is a chemically induced feeling and you can't help feeling the way you do towards a person... but whether you call/pick up his call... isn't that a choice?

I am not one to cast blame or start a morning sermon on fidelity and loyalty... After all, I understand the feeling... you can say that I have seen the coins on both sides. Hehehe.. those who knows me well would know this...

But one can't help thinking on how infidelity happens in the first place. Who's blame is it when one partner suddenly starts looking elsewhere for 'love' or 'affection'..? Is it fair to put the blame on the partner that is happily...or maybe unhappily oblivious..? Or is it fair to blame on the couple who are enjoying themselves at the expense of the other? Is it the girl...or is it the guy?

Love is such a fiery emotion don't you think? It comes unbidden and fills one heart with this fierce possession and all you can do is sit behind the wheel as it takes you for a ride.. it can be scary and exciting at the same time... it can even be your salvation from certain destruction. But can you love and betray at the same time? I don't think so. In that I think there is a choice... to love a person enough to let them go or love them enough to stay and wade through the difficult time together. Certainly to love them enough to not hurt them by betraying their trust in you.

Love is precious and should be cherished. People nowadays throws the word around like a days bread hot from the oven. Passing from hand to hand... they are forgetting the value of that sentiment and all the resposibility to it should you accept and take a bite out of that tempting treat.

Love should be nourished and kept alive... like a garden that is blooming  with ruby red roses... if you let it be come rain, sunshine... you'll find that it would be overgrown with weeds and the once brilliant colors splashing will turn to a wild and dull growth of something that used to be.

Fate...is it ours?

Maaf Zahir & Batin

On this last day of puasa... I'd like to say sorry to all of those who has touched my life... be it in a major way... family and close friends.. or in a small way... whoever you are out there...

We can only strive to be perfect... but often that comes out as a cheap imitation of the ultimate perfection... but I guess the most important thing is the thought that you put through and the effort that you take to be that perfect someone... This past year, I know that I have been a trial to some that are close to me... what with pregnancy hormones flaring up during last ramadhan and all through giving birth... then came the journey of being a first time mom that often takes me in a roller coaster ride of up and down and zwingging zwagging.... so temper tends to flare up in the most unexpected moments...

Alhamdulillah... life has been kind to us... giving us the opportunity to experience the magic of parenthood... the wonderful moments that only marriage can bring... the sweetness of being children again with our parents... and of course not forgetting our good fortune of having super brothers, sisters and little niece and nephews...

To those whom I have offended... please forgive me... sometimes we say or do things that are not meant to hurt and in the excitement of the moment we often forget to think first before the action...

Let's live and learn and bring with us all that is good... hoping that this raya brings even more happiness...

My Thing...

There's nothing that I love more than just lazying about and reading my romantic novels. I love love reading. But I am a picky reader...heheheh.. I read absolutely nothing but historical romances since I first discovered them at a tender age of 14. :)

hehehe... parents out there... I must say that no matter how good it is to leave your child in the library, you still need to watch over the books that they tend to pick out... *future note for handling my Shiya* ... because no matter what my mum did to discourage me from reading romance novels, I was already too hooked and keep on searching/buying them whenever I could...

Why is it so ermm.. NOT good for girls...I stress out... for girls... meaning aged below 21... (Yes, Shiya will have a hard time convincing me she's grown up..even if she is 20 years old.)? Well... definitely because of it's content! :P

There are scenes that are better left OUT of a child's imagination, if you know what I mean. Hahahaha... but hello.... I have read hundreds of books already... so no sense in stopping me yea? Oh well... anyhow... getting out of topic here...

Why I love romance novel so much? I think it's the way you can get lost in the books... As I've often told my family... why get lost in the everyday stuff... you're already experiencing it right now... getting lost in the olden days when Princesses lives as a Princess and noblemen and castles still exist is so much better... and I just absolutely love the romance in them... how they meet and fall in love... sometimes I can hardly breathe trying to guess at what might happen next... will she be with him... or will they forgive each other and be together...

Reading, when you get lost in each story... it's as though you are right there... living the exact moment... even the tea seems hot and yummy and you can even smell the roses blooming....

My favorite authors? Johanna Lindey... Julie Garwood... Judith McNaught... Lisa Kleypas... I've read almost all their books... My BFF asked me this morning... would it be nice if reading was considered a talent? And I must agree with her... There's nothing I'd like to do better than read my wonderful romance novels all day long...  :)

Just a thought...

Selamat Berpuasa darlings!

So Ramadhan is here again... it feels like only yesterday that I was home with morning sickness... puasa really helped though to curb the ugly feeling  :P

Jellybean just turned 6 months yesterday! She even woke up during sahur... (dgn tak sengaja actually  :P  ) So she was able to join everyone in the merry of eating at 5am in the morning... took some milky and went back to sleep while her parents couldn't be as indulgent and had to drive off to work before traffic starts...

There are a lot of trials during the Ramadhan months... let's not even begin about abstaining one self from all that is food, food and more food... this is a chance to actually improve on the diet habits of us mortals who just can't say no to fast food and greasy yumminess... then there is (I think) a bigger trial... what's that you ask? The trial of patience... hehehe... so many of us lose our tempers and starts scolding/bad mouthing others when things just don't go our way... I guess the inner battle with hunger... sleepiness and thirst eventually just wears us thin...

This month is also a holy month where our thoughts and prayers should go to those who has left us... and of course remembering all that has been blessed upon us... good health, good life... good family, and never forgetting, good fortune to be where we are today. :)  Never forget the special people who brought us and raised us, our parents who has been there with us always...

So here's to hoping that this month will bring out and keep the best part of us... and may we be able to shed those bad habits that has been plaguing us... don't forget to berniat... don't forget to bersahur... traffic is crazy, so plan your time well and lastly but certainly not least..... enjoy this time...it only comes once a year... and the joy and togetherness that it brings equals no other...  ;)

A special shout out to my darling SIL, Keesha who celebrates her birthday exactly today...  :)

Curiosity does kill the cat... meow!

I have a crazy habit... of putting my nose where it doesn't belong... where's that you might ask? Ohh... places that are better left alone...

It's just that I get so curious sometimes and wanna know all the details of what's happening... why where... who... this is a bad addictive case of gossip monger gone wrong :P in other words... mummy kepochi!

It had started out because I was trying to be careful.. now it's a full blown craziness like one of those tele-movies that you hate, but just can't seem to swtich off the TV when it's playing... hahahaha...

Tsk tsk tsk... it's embarrassing really... should have a new mid year resolution... stop being so curious... it's unhealthy... silly and well, stupid...

Simpler... better?

Inner and outer change is inevitable... like the rain on a sunny day or the warm sun during a winter's day out, change in all of us will happen... regardless how impossible it seems... it's impossible right now... but like the soft wind that gently chafes the harden rocks, you'll see a difference.. eventually...

Was waiting for hubby dear just now at the Level 2 food court, KLCC.. and while I was just sitting there, minding my business... I saw in front of me a multitude of individuals... all different in ages, styles and personality. There were little children...some were smiling cheerfully while eating their burgers... others were sulking while their father was softly scolding them... over spilled milk perhaps? :P There were also older gen people... eating quickly alone... their time at the food court was just solely to consume their food and they will be off again to their offices I suppose to finish off that all important work that is pending. Then there were the younger folks... holding hands and laughing... some looking shyly away, and all dressed up...

Now this last group I can identify with... because that's how I was with my 'group' of people... back then... hehehe... now I feel so ancient! Anyhow, we would travel in groups... if not in pairs to go to, well... shopping malls... the further it was from the house, the better and more ermm... "exclusive" it seems... KLCC was like the place to be with all the expensive shops and nice eating places... and of course to be there means dressing up in our best outfits... hehehe...

How about the stuff that we wear... the make up that we use...? I guess sometimes you can't help remembering those days when all you do is eat take out nasi campur... watch FRIENDS dvds and occasionally get something to wear from Urban & Co.. Then during a special weekend, nice movie at KLCC and eat yummy lasagna... window shopping at all the nice, but oh so expensive shops is a must. :P

Now? The cinema is still there... the lasagna still as good and yummy... nasi campur is still a fav and FRIENDS dvds will never bore me... but I find myself entering into the 'nice' shops more often... and eating once a week/once a month fare almost on a daily basis... is this a show of my income upwards progression? Perhaps... or could it be that it is a result of working at KLCC that has made even the most 'special' things in life (previously) mundane or normal... could be...

I think most likely is the maturity in thought... and action... and of course the reality of it all that robbed the magic of the most wonderful moment that could have been had over just a cup of coffee at Starbucks, and turned it into an equivalent of a glass of teh o ais at pelita... in other words... yummy, normal and everyday.

So how do you recapture the magic of youth... to have joy and excitement again? Does this mean the aim next is to go for that all sought fine dining in Malibu...or that walk on Oxford Street or a hot cocoa in Switzerland... better yet, maybe that gorgeous LV or Chanel bag... hehehe

Change is inevitable... but if I could preserve something, it is that beautiful feeling of joy at the simpler part of life... a walk with someone you love just to hear the birds chirping... that excitement for some ice blended goodness and even the wonderful feeling of happiness when you find a secret post-it attached in your notebook with a love you note... :)

Food for thought for this upcoming ramadhan season...

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On my 100th post... Wanna let u know that I am now on tumblr... Catch my baby's antics on appleyums.tumblr.com ;)

What? Really? hmmmm...

Yesterday I had a heart to heart talk with someone. Well, maybe she did all the talking and I did all the listening. She was telling me about all of her problems and what she has been going through for the past near 2 years since I've known her. Certain things she said I just don't know whether to believe or not. Maybe the dilemma stems from the fact that should I believe it then the other people that I know will suddenly become irrational monsters who are just plain mean and insensitive, yet to not believe would make her a liar... And well I hate liars. But is it fair for me to call her a liar? It would be tragic if all those things happen to her and she's still called a liar. I just can't do that to someone. And so I listened...

What has happened... Is happening... And might happen... They are all out of my control. That's the sad part. I can't help her, not without causing an uproar. I guess when it comes to choosing priorities, it's got to be my family who is always no. 1 in my life. But it still makes me sad to know that had to go through so much.

And there is it, the fact of life why sometimes we just have to take a breather from our OWN problems and just pay a little more attention to those who surrounds us, no matter how small their part in our lives may be. I am disappointed in myself that I didn't take the time to ask how she was feeling... Or taken just a little of my time to have a proper conversation with her... Or even show my appreciation with an occasional fruit or cake... Instead I was too wrapped up in other things, other people who seemed much bigger. Perhaps they are... But like she tearfully told me yesterday... "Am I not human too...with needs?"

She is... And since I've known her, has always been helpful, nice and kind... So I am sorry that I was too uptight to see her problems... I might have been able to make her life just a little brighter should I have seen it sooner. I am sorry, and this will be one of those things that shall go on the list 'I regret' in my life. Now it's a little too late. But I wish her well, and hope that she finds it easier soon...

Another lesson learned...