Sometimes you stay quiet... not really from a lack of things you wanted to say... but mostly because there is just so much to say that you don't know where to start...
A hurt can be a sudden slash of feelings... so great and deep, that it cuts through all layers and paralyses you... but there's also that chaffing hurt... that starts with a discomfort and it's such a small matter you ignore it until u realise that you're slowly bleeding from a cut that is too painful to ignore anymore...
But there's another softer hurt... just little jabs... it doesn't cut... it doesn't chaff continuously... but it sinks into you... until it becomes apart of you... you live with it... sometimes it appears and reminds you it's there... maybe during one of those stormy nights and your bones just aches... then it goes away... or more like you close your eyes and pretend that it's ok... and it works... just for a little while...
So no... quietness doesn't mean calmness and comfort... sometimes it means an inner struggle, trying to keep sane in a storm of emotion that is just too much to bear.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
It's not so simple...
There are definitely different parenting styles and each parent has their own opinions or priorities... hard to say which is better because each has their own reasons and each child is different too... I mean I can't say what works for my Jellybean to actually work for my nephews or niece right?
But are we right in what we think we're right?? Hmm... good question huh?
Like me for example... I often watch my baby girl on CCTV... am just one of those souls who can't sit still unless I can see with my own eyes that my baby is well and looked after.. hehehe and it really irks me if I see my maid doing other things like.. oh I don't know... whatever it is she thinks she needs to do that is so urgent she had to leave my toddler walking aimlessly in her playroom or looking bored and just lying there in the living room. That will often get a call from me with some specific instructions on how to get my baby playing with some crayons or blocks and what not...
As she is growing to almost 3 however, I do notice how she likes attention and the fact that I seldom see her imaginatively play on her own... seldom not like never... but it does bother me... and it makes me think... am I coddling her too much? Making sure her needs are always met by her caretaker makes her lazy to just be independent in her play time? It's a question worth exploring...
But I also see others who put important stock in their maids doing other work during the day... and letting the child be... now is THAT the answer? I don't know... it doesn't really sit well with me... I guess I'm scared that by doing that and me not being at home, leaves my child to the mercy of others... like what if the maid just ends up ignoring my baby the whole day? It's not really that healthy right to leave the child be the whole time alone?
Well... we are always learning... and I guess it comes to a compromise in some things... it is a thing I will be definitely thinking about... and that is why I am considering sending her to school next year... just so that her mornings are filled with some activities that helps her to grow as an individual and socially adapt to others... we'll see... :)
But are we right in what we think we're right?? Hmm... good question huh?
Like me for example... I often watch my baby girl on CCTV... am just one of those souls who can't sit still unless I can see with my own eyes that my baby is well and looked after.. hehehe and it really irks me if I see my maid doing other things like.. oh I don't know... whatever it is she thinks she needs to do that is so urgent she had to leave my toddler walking aimlessly in her playroom or looking bored and just lying there in the living room. That will often get a call from me with some specific instructions on how to get my baby playing with some crayons or blocks and what not...
As she is growing to almost 3 however, I do notice how she likes attention and the fact that I seldom see her imaginatively play on her own... seldom not like never... but it does bother me... and it makes me think... am I coddling her too much? Making sure her needs are always met by her caretaker makes her lazy to just be independent in her play time? It's a question worth exploring...
But I also see others who put important stock in their maids doing other work during the day... and letting the child be... now is THAT the answer? I don't know... it doesn't really sit well with me... I guess I'm scared that by doing that and me not being at home, leaves my child to the mercy of others... like what if the maid just ends up ignoring my baby the whole day? It's not really that healthy right to leave the child be the whole time alone?
Well... we are always learning... and I guess it comes to a compromise in some things... it is a thing I will be definitely thinking about... and that is why I am considering sending her to school next year... just so that her mornings are filled with some activities that helps her to grow as an individual and socially adapt to others... we'll see... :)
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