Monday, April 22, 2013

Connection with my Toddler

Weekends really fly past us... I mean you wait all for 5 days to get there.. and the next thing you know... it's Monday and the weekend is over... tskkkk

Last weekend we had a busy schedule... we went to Jakel for my clothing project and there, my sweetie pie Shiya had one of her meltdowns... I guess the heat... no attention from me and just the huge crowd (sale, what else)...was just too much for her to handle...

I must say I had to bodily carry her to the car... wriggling and screaming... and proceeded to watch her crying and throwing a fit all of near 20 mins... I actually lost my temper and it took quite an effort to reign it all in...

But along the craziness... I remember what Dr. Markham commented in her book "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids"... how she was just too overwhelmed and her shrieks are actually a way of her reaching out for comfort or help.... so I tried my best to control my feelings and used a calmer and soothing voice... I didn't ask her to stop crying... but instead assured her I understand... and kissed her... the tears tapered out... and she looked at me with a cute pout and kept calling out to me in her manja voice... heheheh it sorta worked I guess... because from there we connected in a way... I knew that she wanted my reassurance that everything is ok... and she wanted me to make whatever that was bothering her go away.. namely her shoe that was missing the cat thingy... chewed gum just to stick it back on... gave her some ribena goodness... and turned on her ipad to show her favourite pororo...

I read a little today on how when you encounter a defiant nature in your child that it is a mark of a relationship problem.... and yes, I have that problem since she turned 2... I can see it in her stance and her eyes whenever we would come to a stand still .. or a battle of wills from lack of better words to appropriately surmise the situation...

It's a shocker of how accurate the book seems to get it... and how off mark I was in regards on how to handle my toddler... punishment is not the way... gentle understanding is supposedly the best remedy... ahhh... some parts of me are so confused really... but I did note on her disconnection with me whenever I would get mad at some situations... I think it's all about balance... and compromise... and like the book said.... connection...

One interesting part is it asks us ... how many times did we connect in the past 2 days... I would say a few times... though not nearly enough...

Another is... name 2 things to connect that we can do today...

And lastly... to look back on the few times that we were distracted and how to improve on that so that we could connect better....

Well who said we needed to stop learning when we are older... there's always something new to learn...

Will try the few things that the book suggests and try to deepen my connection with my Jellybean... Can't wait for 11th May... Did I mention before? That's when my unpaid leave starts... and my loooong overdue 'summer' with my sweetheart...

;)

Friday, April 19, 2013

Parenting Skills 101

I am currently reading a great parenting book... the title really caught my attention.. "Peaceful Parent, HAPPY KIDS" by Dr Laura Markham.

Well I haven't finished reading it yet, but the first part was great... it's on regulating ourselves as parents...Just to share a note on her 10 rules to raise terrific kids...
1. the most important parenting skills
  - to take care of ourselves so that we don't vent on our kids
     (am guilty of this sometimes... especially when I am in one of my not so good moods or is a little irritated
      with situations that isn't even related to Shiya... I find that my tempee gets the best of me...  :(  )

2. the most important parenting commitment: to always be there for your child/ren
   - it's important to let them know that you will always, always have their back no matter what
   - to respond to what she needs and not you think she needs [this is so true]

3. the most important parenting secret: discipline doesn't work
   - instead of punishment, set and guide limits on behaviour
     (I usually impose timeouts... and it works... but now I am just wondering if I'm teaching her control or
     inhibiting her natural responses to trauma/anger/upset   :(    )

4. what kids need that no one tells you: a safe place to express feelings while you 'listen'

5. what your child wishes you understood: she's just a kid trying as hard as she can

6. The most useful mantra: don't take it personally
     - no one wins a power struggle and not to insist on being right

7. what to remember when the time gets hard: all misbehavior comes from basic needs that are not met

8. the best parenting expert - you child

9. the constant: change

10. what matters most: stay connected and never withdraw your love even for a moment

haaa... I had actually written a longer version.. but lost in the publish and save process *sigh*

Anyhow the pointers a good to remember... especially when the book talks about how our anger sometimes stems from our deep set fear in ourselves... in other words... our childhood that shaped us... so we can react in 2 manner... towards fear (anger & punishment)... or towards love (empathy & guidance).... always, always choose love....

LOS ANGELES - Part 4 Citadel Outlet

The morning of the forth day we were day started out as normal... breakfast downstairs, where I had my 2 toast and scrambled eggs with maple syrup... Shiya had her bowl of fruit loops and orange juice... with once major exception... this time it was the 4+1 of us... Tokma & Tokpa were here...  :)

After breakfast, papa and Tokpa went off to the nearby car rentals to get a car for us to go around for the next 3 days... and it took quite a while cos we finally started our journey around 11am... and where else but to the much anticipated guitar store for papa! hahaha.... he was getting his 30th birthday present from Tokpa here... a fender, no less  :P

We spent a little over 2 hours there... getting the case and what not... sorry can't talk much about here since am not a musical person myself, so find it hard to appreciate instruments... but the look of joy on hubby's face tells it all...  :) it was one of the biggest guitar stores in the world.... my only regret is that we didn't go there sooner or get to spend time there longer because I can tell how much it meant to hubby dear... *sigh* I bet if he knew how close were were to the shop (in Sunset Blvd), we would.. or maybe just HE would have been there sooner... like the first night that we got there... so here's another important tip when travelling to places so far out of reach... research..research...research!

Oh... just a side note on how important it is to have your toddlers in a properly buckled car seat... while we were getting there a car came right at us from the opposite direction...all in the hopes of avoiding another car... luckily we didn't get into an accident... but it was close... and Shiya's car seat actually tumbled forward... as in slide slightly forward (loose belt behind...tsk tsk) and if not for the buckle strapped at the shoulder she would have been thrown forward and may even hit the chair in front (the break was very sudden)... hish... it was a near thing...

Anyhow... after buying the guitar, we were officially on our way to Citadel Outlet... and my oh my... it was a huge place to shop... my first stop.... GAP... hahaha and went a little crazy in there... so many and at such good prices... came out with a bunch of goodies for Shiya... next stop... Carter's... and boy, people please.... next time Carter's first ok... cause the children's clothes there are oh my goodness beautiful and gorgeous... at 50% off! Imagine I got a top for Shiya for USD7... and pretty shorts for USD8...ahhhh can you just imagine... dresses for USD10??? Ok... let's just say real damage was done there... 2 major big plastic bags later... I turned the corner and came face to face with Osh Kosh... oh my... 50% off... even the 3 big bags and a stroller did not stop me from doing my rounds there... hahahah

Those 3 shops basically summarised my time there in Citadel... we arrived late to begin with and by evening time my in laws wanted to take us to this Chinese Muslim restaurant to eat... hahahah I could do without eating just to go for one last round... but yeah... enough damage for the day :p

Some interesting brands there was also Micheal Kors... the bags were expensive as compared to Coach but it was still at a bargain I guess... Guess was also there, though I only went in for a few minutes...

Honestly, we didn't get to really explore the place... I think anybody thinking to go there should allocate at least 2 days... to just enjoy the scene and shop in a calm and relaxing way... hahaha...

We got in the hotel early to rest and pack... the next day is out trip to Banning  :)

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Good to know...

I was reading a good article yesterday and I felt as though it applied to me. In a nutshell, it was about taking charge of your decision making and taking ownership of whatever it is that you do... be it a work decision... a life altering decision... and I soooo see how it applied to my life... especially now. Now I am in a junction road in my life... where I get to go left ... or right... and I have been debating and deliberating... talking to various parties...

Why you ask? So that I can see what THEY would do... or what would THEY feel... in my situation... and this is in part I guess play a role in my absolution in guilt or whatever doubt I may be having.

Do I doubt it?... what I want that is... no... I don't... It is so crystal clear that it scares me...

Do I fear it... yes I do... because it is after all do doubt going to be life changing

After reading the article I realise that no matter what I decided... I don't have to request 'permission' for it to be ok... I just have to take ownership of that decision... yes, I want it.. and yes, I am going to do it...

May Allah SWT give me strength to see all else through...

Friday, April 5, 2013

Our 5th day there... Shopping Spree at Dessert Premium, Banning

Breakie time... the only thing she wants the whole time there... OJ and Fruit Loops
Mummy baby time  *love*
Our Hotel, Holiday Inn Express in Banning
Yes... she is exhausted... but mummy isn't finished shopping yet.. sorry baby!!
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LOS ANGELES - Part 3 Tour of LA

Our second night in LA was pretty easy... since baby girl didn't eat much and we basically arrived after 7pm at our hotel... we decided to just stay in and relax in the room... hubby dropped by the local 7-11 and also Jack's (fast food place there) to get us some water and dinner... can't say about the burgers... but the fries was nice.. hahahah

Baby girl though decided that 8-12 was pretty much lepak and sleep time.. she woke me up at 2 am ... hmm... to eat... poor baby... luckily she ate quite a portion of the fast food we got (please don't judge... i declared a state of darurat for her since she was sooooo picky with food)... we took turns, hubby and I to play with her throughout till 7 until we got dressed and ready for breakfast...

Bus came early this time and we got to start our LA tour on time... (pics later ye)...

We pretty much went around the famous area.. Marina Bay... where we had yummy mocha while fighting the very cold breeze... (but mocha cos I found it hard to keep my eyes open... and no... it didn't work  :P  ) then we proceeded to a few more stops... but I was super excited when we went by Rodeo Drive... very close to the spot in Pretty Woman  :)

The bad thing about a tour bus is basically you have a very very limited time of going to places... basically you get 20mins... and well that is not long at all when you wanna cover such a big area... we basically spent it just walking around the block...

But the stop at Farmer's Market was nice.. we stopped there for lunch and there you can find all sorts of food... we even spotted a Singaporean stall that offers Malaysian cuisine... but we didn't stop... I was too busy looking for souvenirs  :P And we found it there... some fridge magnets... and I found these tine lunch boxes... hahaha and i remembered my wayey... well... actually my BIL said something about finding a tin lunch box so that Farel can carry his toys around and no matter where I look in Malaysia I couldn't find one... hahaha I'm sure it's there... but I found it in LA... and it was so cute... Star Wars pic... and only USD13... so I got 3... Dikdik's had Princesses on hers... and Shiya had Daisy Duck on hers...  :)

Next interesting stop was Hollywood... There were sooooo many people there! And no there's no glitz or glamour about it... let's just say all sorts of characters were there... we didn't get to see the prints at the Chinese Theatre since it was closed due to an opening or something like that... but we did get to walk among the 'stars'... :) Bought Fish Fillet at McD, where else.. bagged some more souvenirs.. and we were on the bus again... (well what do you expect when we had like 30 mins only?) I bet if hubby knew that we were so close to his guitar shop at Sunset Blvd he will literally rebel and skip the bus... or rather skipped from the bus... me and baby girl??  :P

It was a pleasant way to spend our day... at least we got a brief view of each interesting place to visit... will keep that in mind in case there is ever a chance for us to go there again...

We arrived at the hotel by 5... so we decided to rest... and go to Westfield... the nearest shopping mall....  :) yeay!

We were basically tired and sleepy... so we didn't get to explore the place to our heart's content... but I did find a fav  spot... TARGET!... hahahah it is a wonderful place to spend time... err.. and cash... the clothes there are so cheap... and oh so cute (am talking about toddler clothes ok)... but there wasn't much time to explore since Baby Girl has decided to be clingy and won't let me look at stuff in peace... (hmm wonder if her Papa set her up to this)... we shopped around there and I went to take a look at a few more stores till it was closing time...

Ahhh... this is when it is worth it to bring the bucket seat... when using the taxi... :) it was just a short ride to and fro the hotel... USD25 (though if you convert it seems overmuch on transport yes?)

That night we got a knock on the door... heheheh Jellybean was pretty much out and in her dreamland... Tokpa & Tokma finally arrived from Vancouver... hehehehe...

;)

Pictures of Our Trip

At the check in counter... my little baby girl.... still sleepy...
Arrived at LAX... there's a special phone to call our hotel... Mind-Blown... hahaha *jakun mode*
She was singing happy birthday... mainly cos she was holding a muffin... she thinks it's a cake... hahahah the funny things my baby does... we were set and ready for Disneyland!  :)
Stayed at Holiday Inn Express, Airport Blvd... and this is the view from the entrance... nice place... definitely recommended...
Here we are... :)   Disneyland!!
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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

LOS ANGELES - Part 2... Disneyland

We arrived quite late on the first day... even though I could've pushed to go somewhere that night... but I though to get our rest for the next day was much better so that we could enjoy the Disneyland outing... which I booked as soon as I got to the hotel... USD270 for 2 tics... luckily Shiya was still considered below age (less than 3) so she went free everywhere  :)

We got ready early and went for breakfast which served the usual western breakfast... scrambled eggs and toast.. my all time fav... cereal.. yogurt... real cute milk in cartons... bagel with choice prepacked peanut butter (oh I wish I took a pic since never saw this before), cream cheese, jam... pancake and maple syrup (also my fav!)... Shiya of course didn't feel like having anything except a little of fruit loops...

The tour bus... VIP Tour picked us up at the hotel and dropped us off at the HQ nearby (good cos we didn't waste any time picking up other passengers) and after paying for our disney tickets, they drove us to Disneyland... a place of dream and fantasy!  :)


LOS ANGELES - Part 1... getting there...

Hello hello... ahhh... it has been quite a while since I last sat down and wrote something...

We just got back from our once-in-a-lifetime-all-paid-expense trip to LA... hehehe well... we got back a week ago to be exact. Where do I start?

Our trip began at home where FIL's driver drove us to the airport and there check in was a breeze due to the fact that we had an infant with us. Since she was conveniently sitting in her bucket seat in Zapp Quinny... so yes, she did look like a slightly big infant... hahahah... so that was easy... then we were able to proceed straight to the MAS international lounge where we sat waiting for our flight... it was spent pleasantly stuff ourselves with Malaysian best cuisine... nasi lemak and some english breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs... now I don't know if it's me who has grown up or the service that has grown smaller and significantly less 'wow' worthy... but it didn't impress me much... it was more of a oh well... there's food... hmmm it tastes ok kinda thing. But what was yummy and cute was the little ice cream cups of Haagen Daaz offered... ahhhhh yummy indeed    :)   now THAT will put a smile to anyone's face...

-- until you read the fine printing.... almost 1000 cal in one itty bitty cup ok...! errr... ok let's move on  :P

Belum naik plane baby girl decided to gift me with the lovely task of changing her poo poo diaper there... hahaha... so I must just comment that the changing area is superbly a failure for me... not impressed and even felt a bit iffy... so we changed at the normal toilet... which made the hassle of putting on her diapers a challenge for me... tsk tsk... someone pointed out to me later.. much later... diaper pants.... "duh!" moment there... heheheh...

So lesson number 1... diaper pants for the travelling baby and toddlers....  :)

We had a 6.5 hours flight to Narita, Japan... and then the long haul of 11.5 hour flight to LA... Amazingly the flight to Narita went well... ohh minus the incident of ... eerrr... remember the challenging moment of wearing her the diaper...? heheheh got it wrong... hence the slight 'kebocoran' that happened... which caused the need to change not only diaper in flight... but also her jeans... hehehehe which resulted in an oops moment ... she was just standing there waiting for me to put on her diapers... then she decided it was a good time to pee... *sigh*

Needless to say... flight to Narita was a slight horror, hope to never ever again to repeat itself... and the trip to LA albeit 11.5 hours was ok... Jellybean had a slight leftover sniffles so I think that's what caused her to have an uncomfortable time during the landing (40 mins of crying as we landed)... but overall... it was ok... she even developed a liking for the movie The Guardians.. (I can't believe that's the only kid friendly movie available!)

Alhamdulillah we got there safe and though tired.... excited beyond believe... honestly... even the air smells different there... and the brisk and cool air reminded me soooo much of when I was there 15 years ago.... *sigh*

Getting through immigration was long and slow... and to go out through customs was even slower... but we managed to go through without opening our bags... and a short while later... we were out! hehehehe...