Jellybean is 6 months!

My darling jellybean... At 6 months...
1. Can drink from a cup
2. First time ate mummy's homemade porridge... Nasi and carrots.. :)
3. Crawl! Yeay!
4. Pull herself to a standing position (sometimes only)
5. Will travel far and wide to grab the coveted object... Most likely ur phone, pretty bracelets/necklaces, remote controls... Newspapers or letters
Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

Curiosity does kill the cat... meow!

I have a crazy habit... of putting my nose where it doesn't belong... where's that you might ask? Ohh... places that are better left alone...

It's just that I get so curious sometimes and wanna know all the details of what's happening... why where... who... this is a bad addictive case of gossip monger gone wrong :P in other words... mummy kepochi!

It had started out because I was trying to be careful.. now it's a full blown craziness like one of those tele-movies that you hate, but just can't seem to swtich off the TV when it's playing... hahahaha...

Tsk tsk tsk... it's embarrassing really... should have a new mid year resolution... stop being so curious... it's unhealthy... silly and well, stupid...

Simpler... better?

Inner and outer change is inevitable... like the rain on a sunny day or the warm sun during a winter's day out, change in all of us will happen... regardless how impossible it seems... it's impossible right now... but like the soft wind that gently chafes the harden rocks, you'll see a difference.. eventually...

Was waiting for hubby dear just now at the Level 2 food court, KLCC.. and while I was just sitting there, minding my business... I saw in front of me a multitude of individuals... all different in ages, styles and personality. There were little children...some were smiling cheerfully while eating their burgers... others were sulking while their father was softly scolding them... over spilled milk perhaps? :P There were also older gen people... eating quickly alone... their time at the food court was just solely to consume their food and they will be off again to their offices I suppose to finish off that all important work that is pending. Then there were the younger folks... holding hands and laughing... some looking shyly away, and all dressed up...

Now this last group I can identify with... because that's how I was with my 'group' of people... back then... hehehe... now I feel so ancient! Anyhow, we would travel in groups... if not in pairs to go to, well... shopping malls... the further it was from the house, the better and more ermm... "exclusive" it seems... KLCC was like the place to be with all the expensive shops and nice eating places... and of course to be there means dressing up in our best outfits... hehehe...

How about the stuff that we wear... the make up that we use...? I guess sometimes you can't help remembering those days when all you do is eat take out nasi campur... watch FRIENDS dvds and occasionally get something to wear from Urban & Co.. Then during a special weekend, nice movie at KLCC and eat yummy lasagna... window shopping at all the nice, but oh so expensive shops is a must. :P

Now? The cinema is still there... the lasagna still as good and yummy... nasi campur is still a fav and FRIENDS dvds will never bore me... but I find myself entering into the 'nice' shops more often... and eating once a week/once a month fare almost on a daily basis... is this a show of my income upwards progression? Perhaps... or could it be that it is a result of working at KLCC that has made even the most 'special' things in life (previously) mundane or normal... could be...

I think most likely is the maturity in thought... and action... and of course the reality of it all that robbed the magic of the most wonderful moment that could have been had over just a cup of coffee at Starbucks, and turned it into an equivalent of a glass of teh o ais at pelita... in other words... yummy, normal and everyday.

So how do you recapture the magic of youth... to have joy and excitement again? Does this mean the aim next is to go for that all sought fine dining in Malibu...or that walk on Oxford Street or a hot cocoa in Switzerland... better yet, maybe that gorgeous LV or Chanel bag... hehehe

Change is inevitable... but if I could preserve something, it is that beautiful feeling of joy at the simpler part of life... a walk with someone you love just to hear the birds chirping... that excitement for some ice blended goodness and even the wonderful feeling of happiness when you find a secret post-it attached in your notebook with a love you note... :)

Food for thought for this upcoming ramadhan season...

Down we go...

I love being a mummy... it has been my dream for the longest time... and in that dream of dreams... you are the best that you can be...  :P

Until.....

you ARE a mommy to the cutest girble ever...

and find that ... you're not so perfect after all... and that your touch, your smile and your singing will not help to pacify her or solve her current problem/upset... 

There are days that being a mummy scares me... those days are when Jellybean will not stop crying because something, something... (and the 'something' is still a mystery to me) is wrong... and so I try with all my might... rocking her... tickling her... singing all her fav nursery rhymes... even washing her face... changing her diapers... offering her milky2...

The constant challenge is trying to give her milk... sometimes she makes it easy and just starts to drink... sometimes..... *sigh*

And then there are those people who seems to think that they know my baby much better than I do... perhaps they do... because she does seem to sleep faster and drink much more milk with them.... and maybe it's just me, but I HATE that little smug smile that I seem to see every time I try and try.... but have less and less % of success...

During those days, I would feel down and sad... not with my baby of course, but with myself... I wish to be a better mummy and deep in my heart I'm scared that I am failing...

Well, we live and we learn yeah? And of course we have to be stronger for the sake of our darlings... our parents did well by us and I am sure they are not sterling silver perfect... so here's to wishing and hoping to being better and ultimately the best in my baby's eyes...  ;)

My sweetheart at 5 months+

Active baby who is always creeping around



Her favorite pose at 5 months 2 weeks



Jellybean update...

At 5 months:

1. her first creeping was on 8 July 2011... she suddenly started creeping forward to grab at a pink spray bottle right in front of me... I was so surprised and happy...  :) to date she's still shaky and wobbly... but she can at least get up on all four and lift her bum bum high... though she is still stuck in this position. I have seen her move forward in her crawling position one step forward before crumbling... so for now... it's wobbling and creeping along the bed covers for her.....
2. she has discovered the joy of sucking on her toes... I'm not sure if I have written about this before... but when she's on her back now... she will just pull at her feet and promptly suck at her toes.. which is so super cute!
3. she has no favorite food yet as all that has been given to her is received with an open mouth... rice cereal, apple puree and pear puree...
4. she loves bouncing and as a present to her... I got her a bouncer set that I have been eyeing since my confinement period... and she just loves to spend time in it... though she hates it if you left her there alone...
5. at her recent check up... 4 days shy of being 5 months... she was 62cm tall... and weighs 6.5kg.
6. She recognises nursery rhymes and her favorite currently is 'Itsy, Bitsy Spider' and 'I'm a Little Teapot'...
7. Sucking on her fingers are her new hobby now...
8. She needs a lot of space when sleeping because she can wiggle and turn her way 360deg during the night...
9. her tufts of hair that we had shaved from her head when she was 18 days old is worth RM131 today...
10. she can pull up to a sitting position with support and pull up to a standing position while holding on to your fingers...

That's all for now about my sweetheart! :)

My dilemma...

When does a mother's dilemma begins? When it comes to dealing with your darling babies, I would think a lot contributes to what can be called a dilemma to all mothers... even to what diapers to buy... or what to wear... even what where and when to take out our babies becomes a contention at one time or another.

My current one that is causing a battle of feelings and emotions in me? The dilemma of leaving my baby behind to her caretaker.

Every night since her birth I am able, Alhamdulillah to take care of my baby... even if it's not me physically... it would be hubby dear who takes up the duty of the night watch... in that I am grateful that we are strong enough emotionally to withstand the trial of sleepy eyes and numb minds from much needed rest. I am also blessed to have a child who at 3 months+ have been sleeping peacefully for most parts of the night... sometimes at 10pm and only rousing from sleep for some milk at 6am... only now she's having problem staying asleep and would wake up once or twice during the night crying... though why this is happening I am not sure... though it could be from all her active playtime during the day that is causing this fussiness...

But as soon as it's around 7+... I have to hand over my sayang to her caretaker because I need to go to work... and I only get to see her late in the evening... and if I'm a little late... she is already asleep... (sometimes she would fall asleep at 8 or 9pm). So in total during the weekdays I get to see her and play with her, only around 2 hours a day... and those times are when she is sleepy or hungry angry... which doesn't help in the way of healthy bonding between us.

So I am sad that sometimes it seems obvious how she prefers her caretaker instead of me... or when she makes that movement to be picked up by her Kakak when she is in my arms... I am not sad at or with her... I am just sad at the situation... the climax I would say of my frustration is when she will not drink milk with me or even sleep when I try to sleep her at night... every moment is a battle of crying... when her kakak can do it in just a few minutes and with less crying... *sigh*

But I am learning one of the hardest lessons to be a mother... patience... acceptance... and of course... learning how to learn... everytime I am too tired and feel like giving up... I stop... just for little while... and try again... picking up a different tune... or even turning on the TV to distract her... just the other day I carried her for 2 hours... just to get her to sleep... all the while holding on to whatever energy I had left of the day... because I want to be the one she holds on to...

Acceptance.. that the situation (for now) is the way it is because it's for the best and sometimes others just do it better than me... and that doesn't change the fact that I love her the most and will forever be her mother...

And learning... learning to be better at what I do... learning how she likes to be held... learning how to teach her caretaker to take care of her the way I want her to be taken cared of... learning her little sounds and what it means... and sometimes just learning how to pacify her... most importantly... learning how to priorities my time and schedule to fit my life better in her world.....

Everyday is still a battle, but I love and cherish her every smile... her laughter... I'm getting there... slowly...

Baby needs and baby essentials...

Having a baby... is definitely one of those wonderful experiences that nothing... and I mean NOT A SINGLE thing in this world can compare to. To experience the wonder of the 9 months in your tummy is already a beautiful gift... all the tumbling and rolling... the little nudges that you feel... hehehe...

... and with all babies... there will be numerous needs and essential items that you need to begin your new journey... or a repeat of that wonderful journey  :) ... I find the most essential items that I needed after I gave birth were:

1. hot water .. ermmm... what do you call that bottle thingy that you can store hot water to be used to tuam your tummy and breast? well, that.. hehhehe
2. at least 5 pairs of new born nighties, I prefer the 2 piece type (1 long sleeve baju and a long pants).. this is easier when it comes to night changing because you don't have to worry about buttons and all that especially when the baby is crying and you're only half awake! :P
3. at least 5 day clothes, your baby cant stay in the same baju the whole day and night! :P
4. soft and light blankets as well as a few muslin squares so that you can place your baby anywhere and not be scared of 'what have been there' germies
5. a few washcloths to be ready to wipe at any milky2 residue or any accidental spit ups, this is a long term investment as you'll never stop using these washcloths till they are big... soon they'll need it when they start to put they're fingers in their mouth or start blowing bubbles... so get the good and durable ones as well as soft to the touch for their delicate skin... I find that Mothercare's and Owen's are good brands as theirs is durable, thick and absorbent. If you're looking for gorgeous (though a bit pricey for a piece) go for Owens... it comes with such cute designs. Not willing to spend a bundle on washcloths? Don't worry, Coro from the Parkson baby range products has a 5 piece washcloths for only like RM6! :) and they are nice to use... even if not as pretty ;)
6. baby bassinet because they are small and cute... and they love to feel all warm and cozy... another plus is that the bassinet is light so you can carry it all around the house and have your baby right next to you at all times (of course you can't carry your baby in it!) But those who are budget conscious, I would think that spending on this might be a little extravagant as the baby only uses this max up to a month... after which they start to move more and will not be so happy sleeping in a closed space, especially if they are side or tummy sleepers. 
7. oh, hahahah... how can I forget the most basic of all needs... diapers! :P After we check out of the hospital, they will provide us with a few and my baby has tried Huggies, Mammy Poko and Pureen brand... my evaluation of these 3 brands? Huggies is ok... a bit rough for the bottom... and the design doesn't really fit the bum bum properly so there will be incidents of leakage... Mammy Poko is of course, the best so far and oh so expensive... it's material is soft, can withstand hours of soaking and ur baby's bum bum will still stay fresh and smooth... :) Pureen is good and RM0.30 cheaper than Mammy Poko... but for some reason, it's sooooo very hard to find! Hmmph!
8. baby wash... the hospital will usually provide this when you're going home... but it depends on each what brand you want to choose... for sensitive skin, Sebamed is said to be the best... though I have always loved Johnson& Johnson. :) Jellybean is using Sebamed currently, but am thinking of changing that when she gets older.
9. wet wipes and cotton... large quantities of these are actually needed up to maybe when your baby turns 2 months... after that... or when she's a little stronger, washing over the sink is much easier and (I think) cleaner...
10. Towels for adults are nice if they are fluffy and big... but for the little ones... small and thin is just right... as long as they are absorbent. Why? Because it will make holding and handling the bundle of joy easier... she also won't feel smothered with all that fluffy fabric around her. If there are any concerns on making the baby cold, just be sure that the fan is switched off before and after bathing time to minimise cold air. :)
11. nail clipper and nail fail
12. minyak telon... a must to keep the air out and baby happy happy
13. bedung for babies
14. baby wrap... you don't need to get the expensive ones... Mum's Care offer a great range at about RM20-RM30.... it's small and fits the baby well
15. a few pairs of socks and small mittens... after I bought a whole load of these items... the best to date are the ones bought from Pigeon/Anak Ku range... booties and mittens (>RM7) They are breathable, fits the baby's little hands well and easy to wash. Next best... though a bit pricey seeing that the baby can only wear it for the 1st month (after which is becomes too tight) is from Pumpkin Patch....small and cute for newborns and of so lovely designs  ;)

I guess that's what you really need for a new born... the rest would come from preference and experience... like for bottles... breast pump... bottle cleaner... formula... diaper bag... all this would vary with needs.... My own wastage? Hehehe... the abundance of socks that I got for my baby, diapers bought at a wrong size, cottons that are unused, clothes that are hardly worn due to my baby growing too rapidly during her first 3 months..., pacifiers that my baby refuse to take.... (I bought 4!), hehehe...oh well...

What about for mummies? Comfortable clothing, kain batik and loose shirts are recommended... disposable undies, pads, socks, hair bands... that's all I think... besides of course, a good masseuse, entertainment and just time to recover, sleep and bond with your baby... ;)

Baby food and everything else in between...

Jellybean has started to taste food other than her milky2, officially on 27 June 2011... we gave her a little taste of pumpkin and corn... she didn't look like she enjoyed it much :P

Here's a little something on her food experience... I had decided to start her a little early on solids due to the fact that she doesn't really want to drink her milk. Every milk time is a struggle with her either crying... chewing or gumming her bottle teat, or pushing the teat out from her mouth... in the end, with the doctor giving me an ok... I started her on her first meal...

Her next food was rice cereal... which I later read was the best food to start a baby on below 6 months as it the most non allergic food there is... but baby started to get itchy dots on her face which made me scared and I immediately stopped her from eating then. Since then, I have given her some rice cereal several times... each time breathlessly waiting to see if she develops any allergies... the only signs seems to be her restless crying at night which could be a sign of wind in her body... gassiness is also a sign of allergies... so I would stop again... and after a couple of days... I gave her apple sauce... hmmm... again, crying at night... so again I stopped her intake of food...

It has been a couple of days since she took in food... but still she wakes up crying at night...so now I am in doubt of my theory that the food is causing my baby distress... *sigh* babies are full of mystery... but since the food or lack thereof seems to be the same... I decided to started her on pear puree...

Except for her first taste of pumpkin and corn puree which she didn't seem to like, my baby just loves eating... in that she followed her Kakak Lis... any food is received with joy and an open mouth... she also loves drinking from her spoon... and that is why I think she will soon take to the cup... :)

Nowadays... if she sees you eating...she'll just stare at you and starts to lick her lips... sian my baby! Teringin! :P

mmmm... yummy rice cereal!

Little Fairies Part 3

It was 9 July 2011... and amongst the room filled with flower and star cut outs... a princess was sitting prettily waiting for the guests to her 1st year birthday party. The comers were a bit late, but we couldn't really blame them as there was some crazy stuff happening. But nothing was gonna stop this long awaited celebration... :)

We had 2 dresses for Lissy... a princess gown and a fairy-ballerina outfit... complete with wings and butterfly headpiece... oh it was so cute! :) It's like she knows that the was hers because she was the perfect princess and showed no fuss even though she missed her nappy time. The menu? a simple nasi lemak fare and some mihun goreng... and sandwiches and nuggets for the young guests... Everything was simply yum yum... we also had a special surprise for the guests ... some yummy bbq lamb...  :) in conjunction with her birthday party, I had decided to do her aqiqah as a present from her mamanish...

The cake was a princess figure cake made lovingly by her mama long and it was gorgeous! The kids had fun playing about in the car pool and it was just wonderful to have all our close friends over to celebrate her birthday...

Thank you to those who tried hard and made it to make my sayang niece's birthday a special one indeed...

Little Fairies Part 2

Every fairytale has got to have it's ups and downs... Lissy's started with the 'Bersih' incident. I am not a politically loud person... is that the right term? hahahah.... what I meant is that I am not one of those strong minded people out there... but this issue that hit our country, hit Lissy's party as well... it must have been a freak of nature that the theme color for the party is pink & yellow... yessss... yellow... *sigh* The guys were supposed to wear yellow so of course as you can guess... some did not want to do that in case they get stopped by any policemen. So as a last minute change, I requested all male guests to wear white if do not want to wear yellow... basically only the kids and darling hubby wore yellow... tsk tsk tsk

Another hurdle is the decoration part... did I mention before that my mum has officially relocated to Angkasapuri? Yeah... happy news... but stressed out that a lot of baggage and boxes came with the move... our house is now filled to the brim with boxes that they all had to be moved into my pink room just for the party... Yikes! There was also a crazy traffic jam from NPE toll to the house... the night before the event, it took me almost 4 hours to get home after picking up hubby... and no rest when we got back because there were a lot more decorations to do... in the end... I was just too tired to try out some of the stuff I had in mind... luckily it didn't look too bad...

Little Fairies Part 1

To a wonderful event, there must always be a beginning... so here is a story of how the fairyland party for my sweetie Lissy came true ...   :)

The theme of the party is "Little Fairies", and though it would be nice if all the baby girls could wear tutu dresses and fluttery wings, my VVIP guest lists (the babies of course) shows a remarkable lacking number of girls and overwhelming number of boys. 4 baby girls and 7 boys to be exact! hmm... this really kind of makes it hard to even plan the theme color since my sister wanted it to be baby pink, but I don't think the guys/baby boys would show up wearing that color... so we compromised, boys wear yellow and girls wear pink :)

How do you turn a normal looking (though a bit cluttery with furniture) into a fairyland, fir for its princess? Now this is quite a problem for me since I am actually in Kajang currently and could only imagine what would be nice... but of course the magic would come from little mixture of flowers, butterflies... balloons and well... stars....  :) I have started to cut out the cardboard pieces and printed out the rest... let's just hope that the atmosphere will change to that of a fairy tale land once I'm done with the decorative pieces... Found some beautiful deco pieces at party world... but my oh my do they cost a bundle!! Which is so sad...wish that I could at least get one or two... but I have already spent more than what was initially budgeted...

I have decided to gift my beautiful niece her daging aqiqah :) ... a lot of people question me on this and to those who do I will turn my deaf ear on you... As I have so many times repeated, it is my gift and I feel it within me that it is the right thing to do.

So... deco... 70% done.... party pack... 90% done... foody.... (well... a lot will be done the day before) 5%... Hopefully everything will go smoothly as the bday bash is only 4 days away! hehehehe... super excited... and as always, worried about the attendance and if we have enough food and if the deco will look nice...

We'll see.... hehehe -nervous laugh-

A short note on my sayang...

Shiya, my jellybean and sweetheart.... has officially turned 5 months on Friday. What are her new antics...? I find that currently she is a lot more chatty.... agggoooing about and her favorite activity is still bouncing around...she has also discovered that she can move to grasp the object of her desire. Though coordinating her yummy limbs are still a mystery for her to discover and master.

Last week she has proven how much she just adores her papa. She woke up one morning and was picked up by hubby on his way to the take a shower. So he passed Jellybean to me and you know what happened? She kept looking behind her at her papa and start to cry. Hehehehe... the sight was so cute. She has started to recognise faces and is showing her preference (hmmph!). Everytime she hear her daddy's voice she would actively search for it until I asked hubby to just play with her on the bed while I get ready.

She can now wiggle her way across the bed just to grab at something that she wants though the sight is funny indeed and reminds me of a wig worm... hahahaha... so cute! But of course now it is a no no to leave her on the bed all by herself because she will just twist and turn, not caring if she's near the edge of the bed. :P

Like all children, she has discovered the joy that is... the remote control! :P When i placed her favorite ball toy in front of her and the remote control, she actually went for the later... hahaha...

Oh, and we started giving her baby food... but more on that later! ;)