Continuation...

My last post was at one of my lowest point... and throughout the day I started looking online for help in dealing with the issue, trying to understand the situation. What did I find? That it seems a little common for a baby to choose a certain someone that they get especially close to. This is because they are going through their separation anxiety stage... and I seem to find one of the most peak time during which this happens is when they are around 9 months.

There are some suggestions suggested by the experts:
1. Always smile and be happy when you see your baby, even when you're deeply stressed out
2. When you baby is crying and try to reach for another person, don't get angry because they can actually feel the negative vibe and be confuse; instead act excited and let her have her way for now
3. After coming home, have the person taking care of your baby participate in getting your baby excited to see you such as cheering when you walk in the door and always saying your name throughout the day in an excited and happy voice
4. Spend a lot of quality time when you can to bond with your baby

At first, I balked at the suggestions because in my mind if I gave her the chance to walk away from me... then what time do I get with her.... but for want to make it better... I decided to give the suggestions a try...

I walked in from work to find her, as always cuddled up to her nanny... and when I wanted to take her... she turned away... usually I would just take her and whisk her away... but that day, I laughed and showed her a toy I was holding... and in an excited voice started to tease her... "look what mummy has.... siapa punya nie?"... She immediately smiled and thank goodness for small favors, her nanny started participating... "eh... mummy ade ape tue?"

As Jellybean reached out for her maracas, I held out my arms and with only a little hesitancy, she let me pull her into my arms... and I quickly carried her outside to look at the birds and sky... I kept up a steady chatter and kisses throughout the evening and when she wanted to go to her nanny or grandma... i kissed her and let her go... and I slowly noticed the difference in a few hours... she no longer cries or whines when she sees them... she was more relaxed and was able to play and babble on her own... no longer clingy to their clothes...

And by the next day... she was all mine... :)

Of course when the weekday starts and I get to spend less time with her, she starts to resists being with me again... but I am learning... to give her a little space... and a little time... to smile and persuade rather than take... and to sometimes just let her be... even though what I want most was to just have her cuddled right up next to me.

In return? She starts to ask for me now... in fact sometimes she just wants me there to be with her and play with her... and when she sees me after work... she gets excited and immediately comes to have me pick her up...and when she hears me singing her favorite bed time songs... she sits still to listen with her blankie... or immediately stands up to show that she still wants to play...

That's motherhood I guess... I have a lot more to learn and I hope that I can dig up more patience to withstand the bountiful emotional times that's bound to hit once a while...

9 months of pure joy and true love... 9 months of learning... 9 months of trying to be a better me....

;)

Depressed part...

Hehehe... last entry was on the stressed part... now let's start on the depressed part...

I have been going round my circle of friends (as small as it is) and asking how other working mums are coping with their little ones... especially those that are in the care of their nannies... and it seems to me, all seems to be doing well... I have yet  to hear of a complain or a sigh or even a little frown...

But there begins my story of how unwell I am coping with my sweetheart and her nanny... she has become superbly attached to her and every time I try to take her away when I get home from work... she refuses... or only stay in my arms just for a few minutes before trying to reach out for her nanny and crying out as though I had somehow done something horrible to her. I would usually just pretend like it doesn't matter and take her away... screaming and struggling to my room... she would eventually calm down and we have ourselves some good quality time playing... sometimes...

There are times I am unable to distract her or entertain her enough that she'll just be cranky and upset... until I bring her down... where she'll know that her nanny is around... and when she sees her nanny? The crying and struggling and pushing me away starts all over again.

There were a couple of episodes at night or day when she would wake up and cry... inconsolable by me... and I think it's because she's actually crying to get to her nanny... but I have a rule since she was 1 day old... no one tends to her at night except me or hubby... that is our personal time together. So during these couple of times... I would just try as best as I can to be patient and strong for us... she eventually tired herself out and fell asleep in my arms... oh no big deal... it only took nearly 3 hours of crying and screaming in the middle of the night.... but I am willing...

Nowadays when I come home from work... she will just ignore me... and her current favorite is with her nanny or my mum... her grandma... she holds out her hand and smile her sweet smile... she'll sit still and play her toys happily... If I try to take her away... which I do frequently... she'll cry... and try her hardest to go back to them (whoever it is I took her from). And I must admit that every time this happens... my heart breaks a little... It has come to a point that even when she wakes up in the morning and sees me... she no longer smiles... just looks at me and tries to get off the bed... to go where? I don't really know... I tried putting her on the floor today... just to see where she'll go... and she turned back to me and frowned... so I got on the floor and held out my arms... she took my hand and stood... a sure sign that she wanted me to take her for a 'walk' somewhere... I guess I wasn't surprised when that walk turned out to be to my mum's room and her walking straight into her grandma's arms... and refuse to leave her side after that...

To be continued....

Stressed & Depressed

Stressed & depressed... Wow... what a way to start an entry... hehehe...

My baby turned 9 months 4 days ago... at her 9 months stage:

• she has two tiny teeth that is just peaking out at the gums 
• her vocab included..."mumumum", "dadada", "papapapa", "mamamama", "lalalala"
• loves to scream... I mean really, literally scream... when she's excited, upset, angry
• loves to hold on to your hand and walk around everywhere
• pays close attention whenever Barney is on the TV
• her favorite is still Wheels on The Bus and I'm a Little Teapot (which her mummy always uses to distract her whenever she's in one of her temper tantrums)
• will climb on tables or couches if given the opportunity
• hates playing by herself still, she has to have a 'teman' 
• shows preference to toys that she can 'bang' her hands on
• gets excited when you play peek a boo with her... she'll start searching for you if you suddenly disappears
• gets jealous of other babies/kids... but only with her nanny
• can fall asleep listening to mummy humming Que Sera Sera (how to spell? :P  )
• Recognises voices and follows the sound
• Can stand without support and sometimes grab a toy while standing 
• Can take 1-2 steps... though has only been witnessed by her nanny and grandpa

I guess the biggest development... and worry... as she turned 9 months is that she has refused to drink any formula. She has started refusing milk a few weeks ago... but that only meant her intake of milk had sadly decreased from the 25-20oz a day to maybe 15-18oz... but suddenly this week it has been a total challenge to get her to drink her milk. Even her nanny failed to somehow get her to take in any milk and she has always been successful in the past. Then a few days ago... she went the whole day without milk. I though surely she would wake up and ask for some since she would be hungry for some milk, but she slept through the night... content and when she woke up at 7am... she was happy and didn't even cry. If i try and show her her bottle, she just turns her face away.. and if i try to put it in her mouth and give a little taste of milk... she will start struggling and cry to get away from me.

So there... my baby at 9 months... refuse to take in any more milk. I do try to compensate though... after through research... hehehe.. which involves numerous hours googling articles and forums for families facing the same ordeal... I found that most try to give their babies cheese (though I don't know what kind since Shiya has no teeth to eat properly) and yogurt. This is to ensure that she gets enough calcium and iron in her diet.

I have also made it mandatory for her to eat her rusks or rice/oat cereal so that we could add a little milk in. Now any new foods introduced will be those with high calcium content and preferable if we could mix a little milk in so that at least she would be getting some needed nutrients. I have yet to consult her paed on other alternatives that might help... *sigh*

Gonna start her on yogurt tomorrow and also on steamed tofu... hope she likes these new dishes...