I have always wanted to be a housewife...in fact i have always thought to be a stay at home mum... Why is this so, you might ask... Well.. I dont have the words on how to describe it for all others...even to myself... Suffice to say that that is who I am and that os a part of me that I know very well...
I'm writting this because the feeling is getting stronger and stronger until some days that is all I think about.. It's especially even clearer to me when I am in one of those black moods after a disagreement with anyone who (in my mind) mistreats my jellybean... I could it so much better kinda feeling...
But then....
I take her out...n we splurge... How lucky am I? Lucky to be able to just walk in into Mothercare or Toys r us with an armload of clothes...gifts...toys... Buy fruits that costs RM20 for a small (omg its like silly small) just because she likes it... N to be able to buy a pororo soft toy for RM60 and x think twice... The smile on her face everynight as she hugs it is enough...
How many souls are just lucky to be able to do that...
I am mature enough to realise that it's because I am where I am today... But i wonder can I not be what I want to be..and still be able to be me...? Where is the ending and when is the beginning?
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