Time Out

So what would you do if your child started throwing a temper tantrum and screaming her her lungs out... because she didn't get what she wants? What if it happened in a shopping malls where people will actually stop... or worse... actually whisper (loudly) for your benefit... "what's wrong with the baby?"... ??

I don't know about other parents.. perhaps they have a better view or technique but I find that mine works best for my baby... and that is timeout. I had generally believe that this is the best and recommended... but after reading some opinions on Baby Centre (a good website) I realise that some have negative thoughts on this method. Ok, let me just briefly explain how I try to take control of the situation when Shiya the 'hulk' comes out :P

1. If she is struggling and throwing her body... I will get down on my knees and try to cradle her or if that seems to cause greater struggle... I just gently let her be on the floor though am close in case she decides to bang her head or bang her angkles...I read somewhere they they lack the words or knowledge on how to express their frustration or anger.. so this is their way to lash out...
2. I wait until the storm to calm down... any small clue would help like the sudden stop of struggling on her part... or the scream that seems to be winding down... it shows me that she's ready to be comforted...
3. If nothing seems to soothe her... then I would say sharply.. just clear enough for her to hear (though I try not to shout it) ..  "QUIET!" "shhhhh" (this sometimes to be repeated a few times)
4. I always make sure that I am giving eye contact when I do this because I want her to see how serious I am
5. I take her away from whatever it is that provoked her in the first place
6. Then I make her sit facing a wall... and told to sit down, be quiet and think about what she's done...of course she might cry louder at this rate... but it's crying... and no longer shouting... she will look around for help but I sit next to her so she knows its just me... the wall... and her time right there...
7. If its in a public place I have never taken her to a wall but buckle her into her stroller instead and close the top part... no one talks to her until I give the signal
8. After she has calmed down... I will look her in the eye and tell her it's NOT ok to scream.. and that she shouldn't do that again... we hug and make up..  :)

Amazingly this has worked for us... she is less prone to tantrums... and though she has her bad mood moments but she has also learned to control and not make such a fuss... I think a lot of times timeouts doesn't work for a parent is because:
1. timeouts should be done when the baby is actually starting to communicate with you... then there is that 2 way communication
2. The time should be equal to their age... a few seconds for yound ones and a lil longer for the older ones... this is because their attention span is shorter when they are younger
3. Parents don't really explain to the child why they were made to sit in a corner in the first place
4. Others overidding the parents words and taking the child out... it should always be the parent who put the child in the timeout... to give time to heal and make up for both parties
5. My sister read somewhere that the 'punishment' should match the 'crime' (lack of other more appropriate words)... and I believe this is true... so I am happy that I did it right... her timeout is her quiet time... for when she loses control and have a screaming fit... not when she hit.. throws something...

My baby girl will be 2 soon... and she grows brighter and lovelier each day... A mother can only hope that whatever we may convey to our little ones is the best because ultimately we wish to be the best for them.. always...