Parenting Skills 101

I am currently reading a great parenting book... the title really caught my attention.. "Peaceful Parent, HAPPY KIDS" by Dr Laura Markham.

Well I haven't finished reading it yet, but the first part was great... it's on regulating ourselves as parents...Just to share a note on her 10 rules to raise terrific kids...
1. the most important parenting skills
  - to take care of ourselves so that we don't vent on our kids
     (am guilty of this sometimes... especially when I am in one of my not so good moods or is a little irritated
      with situations that isn't even related to Shiya... I find that my tempee gets the best of me...  :(  )

2. the most important parenting commitment: to always be there for your child/ren
   - it's important to let them know that you will always, always have their back no matter what
   - to respond to what she needs and not you think she needs [this is so true]

3. the most important parenting secret: discipline doesn't work
   - instead of punishment, set and guide limits on behaviour
     (I usually impose timeouts... and it works... but now I am just wondering if I'm teaching her control or
     inhibiting her natural responses to trauma/anger/upset   :(    )

4. what kids need that no one tells you: a safe place to express feelings while you 'listen'

5. what your child wishes you understood: she's just a kid trying as hard as she can

6. The most useful mantra: don't take it personally
     - no one wins a power struggle and not to insist on being right

7. what to remember when the time gets hard: all misbehavior comes from basic needs that are not met

8. the best parenting expert - you child

9. the constant: change

10. what matters most: stay connected and never withdraw your love even for a moment

haaa... I had actually written a longer version.. but lost in the publish and save process *sigh*

Anyhow the pointers a good to remember... especially when the book talks about how our anger sometimes stems from our deep set fear in ourselves... in other words... our childhood that shaped us... so we can react in 2 manner... towards fear (anger & punishment)... or towards love (empathy & guidance).... always, always choose love....