A change of... me...

Something big happened... or rather, I was able to do something big... something that I've wanted to do for awhile now.

I wore tudung yesterday and today!

It had been in my mind a long time. I first wanted to wear tudung when I was arnd 17-18 years old... But was discouraged when there were negative response from those I love.

Then I felt it again last year... and this time I just let the feeling flow... accepting the light that came into my life. My life had a purpose and I feel closer to God.

Some might wonder why it had taken me so long to start wearing it. Afterall, it had been arnd 11 months. Mainly its fear. A lot of it has to do with self confidence and skills. I wasn't sure of how to actually fashion the tudungs. It didn't help that I had no 'sopan' clothes to match. Even trying to find proper clothes was hard as all I had were strappy tops and short dresses!

But i would have to admit the biggest fear would be the responsibility of wearing the tudung. Once I wore tudung and make it public, I would be carrying an image of a muslim lady and all that it applies to. I wasn't confident enough that I could carry all of it well... What if I was too sexy somehow or too touchy with Baby? Even now I still miss my prayer times. -sigh-

Yesterday I decided to just make the jump. I know what I want to be. I know what I am trying so hard to be. I can only pray that I would make it through somehow, and so I did it. The result? I am so so so so happy. :)

What made me even happier is how supportive and wonderful everyone is being... My family, close friends and most especially my sayang who has been behind me every step of the way. <3

Love you baby! Sayang you sangat! Thank you for your ever lasting support of me... you make me feel beautiful when you look at me... you are what I have been searching all along... and I know that with you, I am able to be better person... love you sayang...

muah!