You'll find that I bleed just as any human would.. In fact I am probably weak since even the slightest challenge can seem so impossible to me...
But again and again I have been betrayed and in so many ways... No need to divulge in details as they are too personal. But I feel a need to somehow write out just to ease this sense of loss that I feel... To make sense to a world that no longer matter to me.
How does one recover from one blow to another... How do i ignore the feelings so deep.. ?
God has been kind.. I am able to retreat into my own world and ignore all these negative vibes that in another time would have killed me.. But until when? I dont know...
It brings into question on my own heart and sincerity... And of course the depth of my love... And when things have lain hidden all these while you realise there is a chance that you've lost it completely...
If only it was as simple as a forgotten...but its more than that...
I could cry a million tears... Scream and go mad with rage... I could ask a million and one question... Why dont I? Because none would make it better... None could be accepted... None...
So here I sit.. Just thinking... Not feeling...just thinking... Because that is all i can afford to do...
Breathe in...breathe out.. for better or worse.. Till death do us part... Well it's worse.. And part of me has died anyway.
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