Down we go...

I love being a mummy... it has been my dream for the longest time... and in that dream of dreams... you are the best that you can be...  :P

Until.....

you ARE a mommy to the cutest girble ever...

and find that ... you're not so perfect after all... and that your touch, your smile and your singing will not help to pacify her or solve her current problem/upset... 

There are days that being a mummy scares me... those days are when Jellybean will not stop crying because something, something... (and the 'something' is still a mystery to me) is wrong... and so I try with all my might... rocking her... tickling her... singing all her fav nursery rhymes... even washing her face... changing her diapers... offering her milky2...

The constant challenge is trying to give her milk... sometimes she makes it easy and just starts to drink... sometimes..... *sigh*

And then there are those people who seems to think that they know my baby much better than I do... perhaps they do... because she does seem to sleep faster and drink much more milk with them.... and maybe it's just me, but I HATE that little smug smile that I seem to see every time I try and try.... but have less and less % of success...

During those days, I would feel down and sad... not with my baby of course, but with myself... I wish to be a better mummy and deep in my heart I'm scared that I am failing...

Well, we live and we learn yeah? And of course we have to be stronger for the sake of our darlings... our parents did well by us and I am sure they are not sterling silver perfect... so here's to wishing and hoping to being better and ultimately the best in my baby's eyes...  ;)