Breastfeeding

During my 9 months of pregnancy decisions were already made in my mind... to exclusively breastfeed my baby for as long as my supply would let me...and so started the journey (or at least an attempt at it) to eat well and drink well to ensure that my supply would be good and abundant. This meant taking a lot of water and soy bean... sometimes even milk.

I was sad when I find it impossible to keep milk (and sometimes any type of food/water) in. I guess I am one of those people who just has bad morning sickness... after throwing up milk one day... I just couldn't drink the once loved drink again. So whenever my stomach could take it, I would drink soy bean. Eventually though toward the end of my 3rd trimester I was able and even crave for chocolate milk. So whenever the mood strikes, I would drink loads of this and also orange juice (which someone also told me would help with breast milk - though I'm not sure how true that is).

Nyhow, I remember the special moment I shared with my daughter... it was a few minutes after I've given birth. She was placed next to me and I learned how to breastfeed her. The feeling was so wonderful! This activity that can only be shared between the 2 of us... Even before then I was deeply in love with her... but with that single act the thought of being a mummy to this little cutey pie sank in and my protective instinct came to life. All I want to do from then on was to be with her and just have her in my arms.

Of course there was no milk from me yet... but I could tell by on the 2nd day that I had colostrum, the liquid gold as the books called it that is essential for all babies...  everytime my baby wakes up from her nap I would try and breastfeed her... though early on I could already see a problem forming. Shiya can't really latch on well... and this serves as a problem as we needed some stimulation to get the production started for my breast milk. I was very sad when Shiya had to be taken to the nursery on the 3rd morning due to high level of jaundice. :(   I seriously felt like crying since even after only 2 days... I was already so attached to her and not seeing her next to me was really hard.

I got to see her every few hours or so when they would call me to the nursery to try and feed her. It was a bit hard due to the latching issue and also the stress I felt on my part. I was stressed as the well meaning nurses would constantly check on me and try to direct my efforts to get Shiya to latch properly. Though I know a rational person would listen carefully and follow instructions, I just felt unreasonably irritated and stressed to the point of dreading seeing a nurse whenever I was there. Call it the aftermath of pregnancy hormones gone crazy. The lack of milk and successful feeding was making me feel guilty, a little anxious and sad.

Then came the day we could finally take her home on the 5th day. Boy was I  excited. Finally uninterrupted Shiya time. :D That was also the day that I woke up with engorged breasts. It hurt so much that I almost cried. With the help from a super nice nurse we heated a heating pad to soften the hard lumps and she showed me to massage the lumps to get it to release the milk. Then she also helped me to pump the milk easing off some of the tension for the next feeding... and thus my relationship with breast pump began...  :P

To be continued...  ;)