Someone's love... someone's heart...

Our anniversary is drawing near... It still feels like we just got married yesterday... That's how fast it all seems... But I'm still learning... Learning how to make his life smooth... Some things come easy, like laundry (he'll be the first to tell you how stressed I can get on this), ironing his shirts... Some takes a little effort though I'm trying sayang... Like cooking your favourite dishes... :)

Sometimes I go bonkers just trying understand him and it's so funny when we're both frustrated trying to get our way... "I want what you want.." "No... I don't mind really. What do you want" A game of trying to please each other. :p I always ask my hubby to tell me what he needs or what he wants... My only worry is that he's too giving and hides away his own needs from others. I want the best for him... For always...

One night during family dinner I finally said to him "sayang, what exactly do you like or want? You just never seem to ask for it. It's so hard for me to guess you know." He just smiled at me.

"You know why? The only thing that I really want is for you to be happy. Tue je..."

*sigh*

And then I remembered all the little things... Shopping trips full of my stuff, late night laundry (I'm so freakish abt laundry), tv channels that shows only my fav programs, him ordering all my fav dishes so that I got a tastes of everything... And many many more... All for me...

And I find myself being the luckiest person... To have his love, his heart...

I love you...

Struggles

Struggle.. Definition shows 'to fight back' or 'effort'. I would think this could also apply to everyday challenges that we go through...

Questions that filters through the mind, "Am I wanting the wrong things?" "Is it too much" Maybe it's all abt looking at the right place and wanting it at the right time.

Then again it could be that it just wasn't meant to be.

Inner struggles...

I remember someone told me 'you can't always have everything. *cliche, I know* So maybe that's the problem.

Happiness is subjective... And it's a choice of a state of mind. I have a lot to be thankful for. So am I just settling? No... It's more than that... It's acceptance and most definitely patience...

Because there's a bigger picture out there. I might not see it now, but I will. And so comes faith...

It's there... Just not here.. Yet...

One day...

My Datenite

Well the weekend zapped through like in a blink of an eye! How come the week days doesn't move that fast? Hehehe... Anyhow, had a bz weekend... I actually had 2 date nites... on sat it was a double date with my parents... Yeeessss, u read right, a date with my parents and on sun was my date with hubby darling.

My mom wanted to watch 'When in Rome' and seeing how I've promised to take her to the movies countless times before but failed due to one reason or another, I was determined to follow through this time. We planned to watch the 5 o'clock show with dinner after with the rest of the family. My mom was so cute in her excitement to watch the movies. She wanted popcorn and ice lemon tea. (Ok, noted for future viewing) She even went in super early just to watch the trailers... :) The movie was great. The right combination of funny, mushy for a perfect and relaxing saturday. Wouldn't exactly buy the dvd though. Hehhe...

Dinner was ruined since I had a mishap of forgetfulness that actually blew into a temper storm. I had actually forgotten to cancal my mini nasi lemak order for meq's party this weekend. Totally slipped my mind! So there was the problem equivalent to 25 bungkus of nasi lemak in Bangi, RM25 due to the abang... And me? I'm watching a movie in OU... Since no one was inclined to help me explain... (I'm learning that when you're in trouble, you actually count on nil help).. So I made the call and explain why I couldn't pick up the nasi... The abang was really nice .. Though I'm sure he felt like throttling me. I finally convinced him to pass me his account number so that I could pay him for his troubles and he was nice enough to send the extra food to a masjid.. Alhamdulillah... A silver lining perhaps?

Then came dinner (in my not so good mood with myself)... And alas, typical mustafarians... Everyone was late. Grrrrr.... I hate waiting! Alas, temper flew.. Is it so hard to get just a little respect? After all, I don't say bad things to you right? Hmmph! Nyways...

On my datenite with hubby we went to watch Alice in Wonderland... With all the hype, it was sadly disappointing.. The story was just... Well, full of bla to me and the plot just boring and not logical. Maybe it was from a book or something, but I definitely didn't get it :p

So my weekend was full of this and that... Tiring and sometimes boring... Highlights, movie with my parents and alone time with my hubby...

XOXO ;)

A Smile

Listening to my ipod again... Hahaha... And its playing When You Nothing At All by Ronan... And it reminds me of my sayang...

His smile just lights up my life. You know that calm feeling you get when everything is just perfect... A sunny day with a cool breeze, good music playing on the radio and birds chirping... That awesome fresh smell that tentalizes your senses... And the world seems kind and gorgeous... That's my sayang... Everything right in every way.

He tries his best to make me laugh everytime. And who am I kidding... No matter how bad my day went... All I need is him by my side... And I know that it's going to be alrite.

The first time I noticed my sayang was when he smiled. And the thoughts that zoomed in my mind was how handsome he was... Next? His eyes... My sayang has beautiful eyes... That smiles along with him... *sigh

:)

Birthday Surprise - Part 2

This time the preparation team was just me and hubby... Deco started in the morning and went on till the last minute. Getting the other stuffs ready such as food and cake took quite a while as we had to drive to diff parts of the town. Thank goodness hubby was here to help me towards the end since I had to make the spaghetti sauce and mini burgers. Not to mention arrange all of the food properly. I waited till the last minute to lay out the deco outside since I was scared it'll rain.

My sis's friends arrived at 8.. And had to see me scrambling abt to get things done :p

Near 9 my sis arrived. The funny part is that she got out of the car so slow that we basically had to say 'surprise' twice! She was definitely surprised and I'm so happy that she loved the dress I bought her. Gorgeous, gorgeous. The deco was also beautiful... The balloons, deco and table tops :)

My SIL's cuppies were also so cute.. Baby pink and yummy! The main dish was steamboat with mini burgers, nasi lemak and mee goreng... All of meqy's favs...

So there is it... The final surprise for the year. Loved planning every part of it. A downside to all this is basically the attendance. It was supposed to be a baby shower party as well... But so many cancelled last minute ( more like didn't bother to show up) that there were just not enough crowd to make the games fun. So I decided to forgo the games. :( luckily the majority of the stuff was bought for lisy lis anyhow. So it could be use later.

Thank you to all the friends who came to celebrate meq's birthday...

Happy Birthday meqqy (early wish) and to lis lis... We can't wait to see u! Muah!



My Baby making a face... must be cos he's wearing a pink star pin  :P







XOXO

Expectations

I'm current at my work desk... Trying to do sales analysis while listening to music on my ipod. Ok, not a very effective way to work.. But when all you want to do is run back home (it's already 4.40pm), any work is cool enough ;)

Anyhow, I just adore my pink ipod. It took me 3 years, but I finally manage to own one. Still remember those days when I started dating my hubby.. I would be gushing abt how I wish I had one and then he sweetly passed me his own for me to browse through the playlist and watch the vids... Of course I was too scared to hold it for long! Me and electric gadgets just doesn't work.. Hehehe... As I told hubby then, gadgets hate me!

Ok, got side-tracked on memory lane... What I wanted to write abt was expectations and I guess who we all become because of all these expectations. We often get mad at our parents for nagging at us to study or grounding us when our results are bad. I still remember the feeling of total dread and yes, 'stress' when its time to show our report cards. Hehehe... But part of growing up is actually realising what was right in front of us but was invisible before. Does that make sense? :p

Basically we are doing our best or we are better because of these expectations. I'm just glad that my mum pushed me hard to get those a's. Now in my late 20's I realise something even more important than others' expectations... It's the expectations we should have on ourselves. Wanting it... Wishing it... And finally living it... Life does not begin when the party starts... it begins when we start living life.

Hahahaha... Look at me rambling like an old lady...

Unspoken words...

I was just staring at my computer screen when I realise that no matter how we chat or talk endlessly with someone we're (supposedly) close to... There are abt a million more things that are actually left unspoken. Among the millions that have been said, how many of these words actually mean something and how many are actually showing what we really feel? I think that's why sometimes we have this uncontrollable
urge to just bad mouth abt people we're close to... Because we don't have the courage to let out our anger and tell them the real story.

Even now I can't write the names... Even now I can't really write what happen. I'm just peeved. Peeved that you are sometimes insensitive and selfish.